im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
