How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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