i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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