It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
