It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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