Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
