My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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