im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
