too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
