I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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