he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
