...so i touched it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
