ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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