just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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