My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You can't motorboat a personality
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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