i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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