hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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