If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
