I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
