the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
