You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have tasted many bathrooms
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
