If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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