I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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