This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
