Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
