Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Terrible idea I love it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
