Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
