I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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