Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize