she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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