is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
