Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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