4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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