In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
