I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
