Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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