Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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