Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
