You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
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If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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