you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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