He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
