This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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