My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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