I just threw up on my dentist
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize