we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
