I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just gargled with NyQuil
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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