Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
