ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
