i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
