This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
