ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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