I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
