god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am puke
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
