I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
