If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
