i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
