his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize