glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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