We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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